Speculation: Sega/Nintendo Fusion

kyotwee — Sat, 10 Jun 2006 10:32:44 +0000

Kyo: Was there ever a Sega/Nintendo merger?
Twee: If there were, imagine the gaming behemoth that could come out of that one. Mario/Sonic crossovers!
Kyo: forget crossovers, think about fusion! Sonic with a pipe wrench and mustache! personally, I’d love to see Knuckles with a raccoon tail
Twee: Or Mario sporting blue overalls with spikes coming out of the back that inexplicably allows him to turn into a ball a la Samus. But it would be a Sonic thing.
Kyo: Speaking of Samus, I think she’d be great if she could ever find one of those awesome flame shields that Sonic weilded. Plus, I think Robotnik would have been a perfect villain for her
Twee: Ah… no. Two roly-polies (granted, one able to make bombs and stuff in her roly-poly state) in one game wouldn’t have fared well.
Kyo: Perhaps.
Twee: But imagine the hardware that would come from a Nintendo/Sega fusion.
Kyo: Hmm… *envisions the Wii*
Twee: Would it be wonderful? Innovative? Or too innovative? Too scary for another hundred years?
Kyo: Sonic! Look out! Oh, no! I can’t control him! Personally, the Genesis frightened me. The controller was huge and there were not two, but three buttons!
Twee: Have you seen the XBox controller? That’s far more frightening.
Kyo: *shudders* Don’t remind me. Perhaps though… Dreamcast and the N64… that might have been feasible.
Twee: But of course it would be larger than the NES controller. Merely because the NES controller was small. Petite even. Dreamcast. I regret never having owned one.
Kyo: *nods* If only Sega hadn’t blundered in its announcements.
Twee: And to think the future of gaming was all but overlooked in the last console generation!
Kyo: Perhaps it would be a four-way race between companies?
Twee: Sega always jumped the gun. I don’t think they had a chance. I request a moment of silence for Sega.
Kyo: *silence* *bells tolls in the distance*
Twee: *bows head*
Kyo: Personally, I think Microsoft is going to be the next Sega. With the 360 anyway
Twee: A media center in your gaming system! What a thought! Because gaming consoles for gaming is just so… 2001.
Kyo: What are you talking about?
Twee: I have no idea.
Kyo: Let us take a ride on the Sega express! Complete with flux capacitor.
Twee: Okay, I’m game. No pun intended
Kyo: *revs engine* See? Now in the future, gaming will be indistinguishable from real life. Think…The Sims….except you are the thing that you’re clicking
Twee: Right. So, explain to me, why would you want to buy a gaming console in the future?
Kyo: Buy? Oh, no.
Twee: Especially if you’re going to subject yourself to the Sims?
Kyo: Well, by that time, I’m hoping that the Sim’s franchise dies out.
Twee: But it’s just so much fun to make soap operas happen in your computer.
Kyo: And you’ll really be in more of a FFXXXXIV kind of environment.
Twee: But what would FF XXXXIV look like?
Kyo: Hmm. Oh look! *points to an old decrepit man* It’s Solid Snake!
Twee: Solid Snake should have died years ago.
Kyo: Oh, no.
Twee: Genetically speaking he should have.
Kyo: He did die. This is his grandson. Raiden is still alive, though.
Twee: Of course.
Kyo: Ah! The metaphor hit me like I was tied up on the tracks in front of Grand Central Station. It would be like Animal Crossing with an M rating!
Twee: An M Rating? Oh dear Lord…
Kyo: The graphics would have to improve dramatically, of course.
Twee: That wholesome game? Subjected to the dirges of an M rated game?
Kyo: Maybe a little hot coffee….some iced tea. M rating easy.
Twee: Coffee and tea. How can people drink stuff like that?
Kyo: Although…I can’t really imagine Blanca getting into a wet t-shirt contest.
Twee: And why would you want to imagine that in the first place?
Kyo: I wouldn’t, but *points* in the future, you can see everyone else’s thoughts while gaming.
Twee: Oh, god, Kyo, get me out of here. Please. And stop thinking that.
Kyo: *rev’s the engine again* Ah…yes. Back in good ol’ 1988
Twee: I see. Release of the NES.
Kyo: And record breaking Super Mario Bros!
Twee: Because who would have thought a plumber could be so endearing! So wonderful! So Goomba-butt kicking? And a mushroom addict. Wait, did I just make a connection?
Kyo: Well, it was the 80′s…I guess so.
Twee: “Purple Rain.”
Kyo: Ah…the days of 8 bit music.
Twee: Did you know that Zelda was the first polyphonic video game? I Heart Zelda!
Kyo: Me too! And link!
Twee: More accurately, I Heart Link!
Kyo: *nods* Well, it makes me wonder why on earth they would name a game after the princess you must save.
Twee: Well, it’s the Legend of Zelda, not the Legend of Link.
Kyo: True.
Twee: But I’m getting kind of creeped out staying in the year of my conception.
Kyo: *revs engine once more* Welcome back to wonderful…2006
Twee: Beautiful, glorious, 128 bit graphics. (I think) And the age of the Katamari.
Kyo: And another version of Purple Reign.
Twee: Yes. Purple Reign!
Kyo: Ah well, if only Vectorman or Ecco The Dolphin could see us now.
Twee: Or Toejam and Earl. Yes, that was good game despite the awful name.
Kyo: *nods*
Twee: Sega/Nintendo fusion? Probably not.
Kyo: Probably not.
Twee: Well, Twee’s going to sign off now.
Kyo: As will Kyo. Until next time…has anyone seen my hoverboard? Oh. I bet that stupid McFly took it.

Owari.

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kyotwee — Fri, 09 Jun 2006 08:52:13 +0000

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Kyo / Twee

Speculation: Sega/Nintendo Fusion

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